“Love” – Just the four letters making a word. That’s it or is it? It’s so funny how something that seems so simple is actually quite complicated. It’s really hard to define love; you may wonder if it’s even real. It is incredibly complex because it’s formed in our minds which is the most complex machine that ever existed. You are either on a journey toward love or on a journey to defy it.
The way we think, the way other people think about us, the way things and other people can make us feel, the way we can make ourselves feel, it’s all intertwined in the reality that exists in our heads. The upsurging wants and needs gets dissolved in with our realities affecting the way we perceive something or someone to be.
When it comes to love in particular to find the right one, it isn’t enough or necessary to find the right one. It’s as easy to fall in love with anybody as it is to breathe. It will feel as if you’ve finally found the one you’re looking for. You’re so ready to fall in love that any person vaguely fitting your ideal suitor’s bill will do. But here you are not in love with someone, you are in love with the idea of being in love with someone. It happened so suddenly that it feels as if you’ve missed a step along the way. Sometimes, it’s not the person you’re in love with, but only the idea of him or her.
Why in the world we let that happen? How can we go so wrong in finding the right one?
Because we want to be loved and cared for. We want to be attended to, we want someone to hear & share our experiences , our thoughts, our dreams and our happiness. We DON’T REALLY WANT TO BE ALONE as loneliness gets brutal. It gets so bad that we are ready to settle for any sort of companionship or worse we will imagine someone to be a much better partner than he or she actually is. We only see what we want to see, not what we need to see.
We all love the idea of being in love and when it happens with a wrong person it gets destructive. The pain is complex and difficult to place. You have them standing right before your very eyes, something you can touch and hold, and yet they will always appear like a dream that will never make your heart contented. You will figure out that you are one person with friends and family but the complete opposite when you are in a relationship. You try a lot harder to please; get less outspoken, less confident, and less of yourself. You get scared to let the real you out in a fear that maybe they wouldn’t like you and you’ll lose them.
When we fall in love with the idea of someone we tend to look over their flaws. We just see the life we want to live with them, so we let the wrong things to slip away into the mist. You let the little fights to gloss over, you consider it growing pains, you truly believe you know this person inside and out because you are only latching onto the parts that you want to notice. When you see something that doesn’t align with your idea of them, you release it because it doesn’t help the fantasy grow. And you realize that you can’t keep it forever. You can no longer stand to not being true to yourself—not standing up for yourself, not keeping true to tour morals, and not loving yourself enough to just say no when you wanted to.
Real love is not like anything above. In real love, your attitudes matter. Your actions matter. The choices, the fun, the pleasure matters. Being responsible matters. In real love, both takes great care to satisfy the other’s needs, they treat each other as their valued possession they ain’t gonna lose. They don’t just get okay with the wrong things of other rather they make the other one the best they could be. They are not ready to give up on each other even when the death do them apart. There is a great sense of security and freedom which only comes with time. There are no more terms and conditions. There is no more hidden the true identity. There is generosity, kindness and peace. There is dignity and honor to be in a relationship, not just from outside but from within the deepest core of hearts.
This is the true journey of love that each one of us deserves. This is the LOVE.